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Lancashire Dialect Poem - Northern English Accent

"Doubtin' Thomas" is a funny poem about a rather overweight cat written in Lancashire dialect by Ailsa A. Haydock in 2007. Sadly Ailsa passed away in the Autumn of 2018, but we hope that this work will help to preserve some of the rich and unique heritage found in this beautiful English dialect. Here is Ailsa's poem in full: DOUBTIN` THOMAS Eaur Mark ’as a kitten named Thomas, ’e’s ‘ad it for well-nigh a year, When’ front door’s ajar, it never goes far – Explorin’ in’ gardens round ’ere. Now, Mark ’ad a problem wi’ Thomas, Its meyltimes all rolled into one; No sooner ’ad Mark put its food down, Than, quick as a flash, it were gone! Mark couldna’ keyp up wi’ all’ feydin’, ‘e confided, “It gives mi no peace. An’ it’s geddin’ as round as a barrel ….. Dusta think it’s now classed as obese?” Ah were pond’rin’ Mark’s problem wi’ tabby, Fur moidered –w’en reet out o’ blue: “A strict feline diet’s the answer, And cut daily meals down to two.” Ah were grateful for dad’s intervention, W’en Mark popped ’is ‘eyd round mi door: “Come in ’ere, Ah’ve got summat to show thi” – ’e were elated as never before. On a cover, i’ cat bed, lay Thomas, Two bundles o’ fur bi’ ’is side, “Ah dorn’d unnerstand whe’er they’ve come fro; ’as ’e fotched ’em both in frae outside?” Nex’ day, there were two moor additions, An’ a fifth one on’ day after that; Three black ’n’ white, a grey an’ a tabby, No wonder eaur Thomas were fat! Eaur Mark’s ’ad ’is ’ands full sin’ April, Wot wi’ feydin’, an’ litter, an’ Vet’s; ’e’s tryin’ to track down ther fatther To claim Kitten Support for ’is pets. All’ kittens are gradely an’ thrivin’; As fer Thomas, jus’ tek it as re’d, We ’ed a re-christenin’, yon Thomas were listenin’, ……… ‘e’s now Thomasina instead. Ailsa A. Haydock 22 July, 2007