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What Causes a Woman to Become Controlling?

Often the foundations for our desire to control and be in charge ourselves springs from situations where we felt we or our parents did not have control when we were children and we "learned" that we better be in charge of everything ourselves or we are not safe. FEAR is a HUGE motivator for us when we are controlling. (Please check out my series on my blog about exploring our fears, facing our deepest fears and finding victory in Christ over our fears. http://wp.me/p28uul-3Ly) Some of the primary foundations for a woman being controlling are: 1. A small picture of God and a huge picture of self. I am strong and God is wimpy. I am responsible for myself and others, God is not sovereign. I take God's sovereignty upon myself. I do not understand, accept or acknowledge that God is sovereign. I am not. 2. Idolatry of self. I don't consciously worship myself. But I have the subconscious belief that I am completely responsible for all circumstances in my life and in other people's lives, even. I trust myself, not God. I believe I have to make things work out right or it will all be a disaster. So, if I am responsible and I am in charge (if I am sovereign, and I am god) - then I have the right, responsibility and duty to demand my way and try to force people to do what I believe is right. There are other idols that can come into play here, too - things we put above Christ in our hearts: our husbands, feeling loved, romance, being happy, marriage, children, etc... We FEAR not having our idols. We FEAR not having what we want most in life - so we think that if we can control things, we can make and force everything to work out the way we want it to. 3. I'm always right. There is HUGE pride and self-righteousness in my heart. MOUNTAINS of it. 4. If I am totally responsible for making things work out in my life, the lives of others and even strangers in the world, then I am taking on the sovereignty of God onto my weak, sinful, human shoulders. I am going to have HIGH anxiety, stress, worry and not a moment of peace. 5. Unbelief. If I believe I am in charge and it is all up to me to make things work out right, I don't trust God. I am leaning on my own wisdom and understanding. I don't believe God's Word. I don't submit fully to Him and I don't experience His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control It is not until I thoroughly deal with and repent of all of these sins (and any other sins in my heart), turn from them and turn fully to Christ willing to completely submit to Him, that I can find peace and freedom and the abundant life of God and that I can begin to live by faith in Christ and have a gentle, peaceful spirit that does not give way to fear. ------- Ultimately - it is sin that causes us to be controlling. We all need the salvation that Jesus offers to us. We don't need to just try harder or follow a bunch of rules. We need Jesus and we need His Spirit to radically transform us and give us a new nature, a new spirit, and a new life in Him. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, please search my blog at the top of my home page for the post about how to have a relationship with Christ www.peacefulwife.com