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GRRM vs. Frank Herbert: the Bad Writing Test

Who is the better writer: Game of Thrones author George R. R. Martin or Dune author Frank Herbert? Today we find out, through an objective, indisputable process of mathematical calculation. 100 Ways to Write Badly Well by Joel Stickley: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1743340893?... Stream donations: https://streamlabs.com/altschwiftx Twitter:   / altschwiftx   Subscribe to the Game of Thrones Abridged podcast: https://altschwiftx.simplecast.fm/ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4VMQJhR... Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/al... Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=... Alt Schwift X Games:    / @altschwiftxgames   Facebook group:   / 148969352315008   Discord:   / discord   Buy A Game of Thrones (ASOIAF Book 1): http://amzn.to/292Jmwy Buy ASOIAF Books 1-5: http://amzn.to/2970vVu Those are Amazon Associate links ↑ 0:00 Intro 6:00 Beginning with protagonist in bed 8:03 Adjectives 12:27 Start novel before important events 17:51 Tenses 18:12 Not using "Said" 19:53 Eye on the market 21:31 Misuse apostrophe’s 24:51 Unlikely love interests 32:10 Mix metaphors 39:06 Orphans 43:29 Everything sudden 47:54 Present your research as dialogue 54:23 Genre 58:24 Fail to contextualise dialogue 1:04:36 The wrong hero 1:17:14 Semicolons 1:21:27 Explain the plot all at once 1:25:04 Multiple POVs in one scene 1:29:47 Formatting 1:32:01 Characters based on real people 1:37:39 Sex 1:44:19 Dramatic … ellipses … 1:48:41 Self-aggrandising autobiography 1:51:53 Matter-of-fact tone 1:57:08 Thesaurus 2:01:47 Bully one character 2:08:39 Signpost twists 2:11:15 Refuse to resolve mysteries 2:15:13 Genuinely evil villain 2:21:31 Outside comfort zone 2:28:25 Characters explain themselves 2:32:01 Unexpected moral 2:35:21 Exclaim! 2:36:11 Recap previous book 2:38:07 Onomatopoeia 2:40:45 Fate as a plot device 2:44:54 Burn through your plot 2:47:42 Hard to distinguish characters 2:49:35 Keywords for online visibility 2:51:10 Write yourself into a corner 2:52:44 Write yourself out of a corner 2:56:04 Quotation marks 2:56:40 Describe wrong things 3:00:12 Censorship 3:02:22 Drop in and out of dialogue 3:03:40 Specific reference points 3:05:17 Radio dialogue 3:05:45 Romanticise places 3:08:54 Missing during editing 3:10:28 Conclusion