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HEALTH AND SAFETY SCARE FILMS Volume 2

You may have survived Volume 1 of SWV’s Health and Safety series but as this second volume shows, there are still a million ways you could die in the next five minutes. Watch and worry with the following truly scary shorts: HAZARD HOUSE (1950’s, color): Would you want your child to get covered in hot oil? How about being electrocuted by loose wires? Or choking on poison? Ma and Pa Atomic soon realize that their dream home is nothing more than another "hazard house" in the making! Scary says: "Ma and Pa: dukes of hazard!" COLOR OF DANGER (color): Just because your wife left you and you got in a car accident on the way to work doesn’t give you the right to have a bad attitude while operating a forklift. Broken legs, squashed eyes, and death are just a few examples of how nasty a forklift accident can be. Scary says: "The color of danger is red!" PENELOPE CHANGES HER MIND (1958, color): A concerned narrator instructs Penelope in the science of fire: "Matches are a demon!" Penelope’s little brother, Timmy, speaks backwards and is clearly a pyro in the making. Crudely animated and highly bizarre. Scary says: "Looney tunes for the firestarter set!" CARELESS CARL WALKS TO SCHOOL: Standard street crossing techniques are reviewed by showing us Carl’s walk to school. He almost gets hit by a car, then a school bus. Suddenly we are thrust into the world of bicycle safety do’s and don’ts. Three narrators, no continuity. It is our firm belief that whatever ChiP was in charge of this film was abusing hard narcotics. Scary says: "Dippy ChiPs!" POST MORTEM (1967, color): "John Long. Age 37. You might recognize him if you saw his face. But we can’t show you his face because he no longer has one." Ouch. And so begins the deconstruction of John Long’s spiral into facelessness by driving home after popping some little red pills. Scary says: "Pill popping, hot rodding!" HEALTH IN OUR COMMUNITY (1959): Betty has the measles. Her visit to the hospital serves as a launching pad for the kindly narrator to wax poetic about the Department of Health. They are likened to an army battling disease by ensuring that germs and disease don’t spoil everyone’s fun. A simulated epidemic breaks out, and the town is put under quarantine. Hell ensues. Scary says: "Always wash your hands!" FRACTURES AND SPLINTERING (1950s): When disaster strikes and all the doctors are busy (or dead), make sure you have this film on standby. It graphically educates in the art of dressing fractures and splinting broken bones. Watch as a little girl with a broken jaw is given her mother’s scarf as a makeshift bandage. "Make sure the bandage is tight or she might choke to death on her own blood." And it gets worse. The real question this film raises is what disaster has struck? Nuclear war? Earthquake? Alien invasion? They never tell us.... Scary says: "Duck and cover!" MEN, STEEL AND EARTHQUAKES (1958): Cue goofy music. Cue narration on man’s continued interest in building structures. Cue earthquake footage (real and re-created). Cue frenzy. Cue the history of horrific earthquakes. Cue dwelling on children trapped in fallen schoolhouses. Cue narration on earthquake preparedness. Cue the answer to the problem: Steel. Scary says: "Best title ever. Ever!"