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trust

This is a recording I have from 2019. It was supposed to be worked on and shelved but then, well... reasons. I remember so vividly how I practiced for almost three months to get the timing right, it would be my first time recording my own chords and still got it wrong 🤭. I think I sat to write this about my one and only, because of the first stanza, but quickly shifted to talking about my mom. And then there's the myriad of ways in which I've developed survival mechanisms throughout my life. It has served me well, but it has also destroyed me in more ways than one. I don't know, I've been very sick for the past couple days, I had injections yesterday and feel so dizzy but I need to keep purging. Also, I'm sorry for my voice, I'm just really not an artist. I just write lyrics and melodies. I'm not even a musician. I hope you can forgive the crappiness of all this, but it's necessary for me to leave these up in here. __ Blinding light was love's worst crime For I fell fast Like religion in the night The despair for you to open your eyes Drowned me out You shot a bullet in my back was way to soft but left a scar Didn't care at the time But left me unable to trust Trained my brain with time at hand To bid farewell I fed me lies and tricked my eyes To see emptiness The walls I built around served me well