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my bad

i keep to myself so much that i don't realize how little people actually know about me, even my family sometimes. so whenever i don't feel like hiding how i'm feeling on the outside and i'm caught looking all mopey and shit i just say i'm tired or even apologize at times. not the healthiest behavior, but i keep it away from them cause i know i'll be fine. nobody knows how anyone else's brain works when it comes to handling depression or stress. i know that everything will be okay in the long run but right now it's rough. but no one else knows how i work, and i don't expect them to, so i leave it unsaid so they don't worry. also, sometimes whenever i do let someone in on how i'm feeling, depending on how they react it can make me feel like things are worse than they seem to me, and it can stress me out more. so it feels like a lose lose situation a lot of the time. idk. fun fact: this song was mainly written to a very heavily "men i trust" inspired instrumental i made. but i like it more when it's played acoustically. hope you enjoy :) insta & tiktok: @ryanthegardner lyrics: you say i look tired on the outside but if you knew all the little lies i hammer in your head each day so you think i'm a-okay i think you would feel betrayed after all, you love me too but when i'm sad my honesty sneaks out the door when you walk in my room i feel like a burden so, i lie to you when i'm hurtin don't take offense it's for the best i'm up when the sun is risin you see me comin down to the kitchen you ask if i slept i say not yet you say i'm quiet when we're out with all of your friends there's nothin to say i hope i don't come off as rude but i only came for you i don't like when they make jokes about my outfits or my shoes so when we're out my honesty catches the breeze and blows out of the room i feel like a burden so, i lie to you when i'm hurtin don't take offense it's for the best i hope you don't find me cryin cause, you'll probably wonder why and i won't tell you the truth i'll have an excuse my bad i got angry when you told me i should cheer up cause there's nothing wrong i guess the lies caught up to me i'm sorry i left you in the dark i know you care but i don't want you thinkin bout me just know i'm fine at least i think i'll be alright give me another week