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all those glitters aren't gold, and i learned it the hard way.

i couldnt be grateful about studying at cambridge, and i felt very bad about it. my time at cambridge, though it looked fun, magical, and amazing - was very painful for me. it revealed to me parts of myself i didnt know i had, new heights i didnt know i could fall from, and pain so… intangible, so weird, so deep, so… unnecessary that still dug its way into my heart. i didnt know this was going to be my battle. THIS. the very thing i actually thought i could handle - it was not it for me. but in hindsight, only in hindsight, i could take a thing or two to be grateful about. the way it taught me self acceptance, self forgiveness, and self love. it took me some time to realise why i have been hating myself so much. at first i thought it was my look (i gained a lot of weight back then), but it was just a red herring. it was that i hated me for not being able to prove myself that i “could” - that i could be a “cambridge material” of some sort. when i didnt, it was very hard to face myself and to face my parents, and to face everyone else. i lost. i lost the battle i thought i could have won. and it was painful. especially for someone growing up putting academic validation above everything else. but hey. i’m here. i’m still here. and i’m at a much better place now regardless. perhaps it means i had won the real battle. i didn’t succumb to the result. i marched on. and i’m proud of myself for that. hugging myself for holding on. thank you, thank you, thank you. __________________________________________________ 🌱 Say hi on my socials ╰ My essay review service @letvihelpyou (  / letvihelpyou  ) ╰ My education nonprofit @abroadening.id (  / abroadening..  ) ╰ Email: [email protected] 🌱 A bit about me Hellu peeps, I’m Viancqa - an Indonesian working in Singapore, who previously studied in the UK for 5 years at Cambridge and Coventry. Here, I share my slice-of-life takes, talking openly about my mistakes, learnings and growth, finding ways to navigate my early 20s, and just how to be a slightly better person each day. If I find something interesting in my life, I also like to vlog it! 🌱 If you're applying to study abroad I have helped 50+ students gain admissions to top universities globally, the likes of Cambridge, Oxford, Imperial, UCL, Edinburgh, and more. I mainly work with students on finding their narratives for personal statements and help them in their storytelling. For more information on this paid service, drop me an email or DM @letvihelpyou 🌱 Music ╰ oh, the joy. - 12am in berlin - https://thmatc.co/?l=17A87A7F 14,132