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Carol Bruess (PhD, relationship researcher) calls it like she sees it. And, in case you’re wondering … yes, all relationships are somewhat messy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re doing anything wrong! The reality is most of us hide the perfectly imperfect “insides” of our relationships, sharing on social media only our cleaned-up, best relationship selves. And what’s also true: there are things we each can do to build the healthy mini-cultures that are our relationships, the likes of which might not only extend the life of the relationship itself but even the people in them. Research shows we all can live longer if we attend to the quality of our relationships. Carol J. Bruess, Ph.D., is Professor Emerita of Communication and Journalism and former Director of Family Studies at the University of St. Thomas, MN. She currently serves as Resident Scholar in the Cassandra Voss Center for equity, identity, and dialogue-across-difference at St. Norbert College, WI. For more than 26 years as a professor, researcher, author and speaker, Carol’s primary interest has been in studying how families, couples, and members of all relationships create joy, happiness, longevity, and connection through micro-moments of interaction and ritual. She is particularly passionate about studying and understanding how the digital age is impacting our abilities to have healthy lives, fabulous relationships, and robust conversations. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx