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The good student

Anne-Fleur challenges us to think about what a “good student” is, from her perspective studying with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Script: I never thought of myself as a good student and well, I was told I was gifted and people told me they believed I was going to do great things. I didn't believe them. On the contrary, what I believed described me: lazy, chaotic, distracted, quiet, forgetful, unmotivated, unprepared and worst of all, I was supposed to be smart. I should know better, well, and I should know better, right? I knew exactly what I had to do to be a good student. A good student: 1. Pays attention in class, 2. Shows up on time, 3. Revises what is being said in class everyday, 4. Keeps an organised notebook for each subject, 5. Doesn't study big chunks at the same time, 6. Breaks it down into small pieces, plans their time, 7. Finds a schedule that works for them and sticks to it, 8. Sleeps enough, 9. Wakes up early, 10. Starts with the most difficult subject first and 11. Does not wait until the deadline. I just had to do it. I tried and tried, but no matter how hard it tried, I just couldn't do it. Every time I'm late for class again or didn't manage to go to bed on time, I reconfirmed that I wasn't a good student. At the end of my second year, I got diagnosed with ADHD. All of a sudden, everything started to become so clear to me. That summer during resits, I did three courses I missed at EUR that year on my own within two weeks. Problem solved - I thought. But my idea of the good student hadn't changed and the next year, when I had more time for less courses, I struggled with the same issues of focus. Now, I was prepared for all my classes but it took me so much longer to read the text, write an essay and every time I repeated something I got more and more bored and distracted. I started making even more sloppy mistakes than before, trying to stick to these "good habits" made studying so much harder. The university offered extra time during exams because I sometimes get stuck in my own thoughts, zoom into more or lose track of time. This is great. However, if I want to make use of this, I have to make my exams somewhere else away from my classmates. I tried it, but there I had even less sense of time. Before, my fellow classmates were my way of knowing where I roughly had to be. When half of the chairs started making noise, it was my cue that the first hour had passed. When my friend was leaving, I knew I should be at least halfway and so on and so on. Now all these markers fell away. Now, four years later, I talk with a lot of other people who were having the same experience I had. There are tons of research online, I found out that I can pay attention, be interested, motivated, and even go that extra mile. However, instead of rewatching a lecture at home and passing on the time, I need to watch it on two times speed and instead of beginning extra early, I now wait until the deadline on purpose. Being a good student can be different to what we might think. This is how I can be a good student. Unfortunately, the way the university is structured doesn't always leave room to be this good student.