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Question: Why do narcissists behave in the way they do, and what’s the best way to deal with them? Thom answers this question in a way that allows you to fully understand the everyday experience and state of mind of a narcissist. From that foundation of understanding, Thom shares with you the very best way to deal with narcissists in your life. Subscribe to find greater ease and bliss: https://www.youtube.com/thomknoles?su... Interested in learning how the Vedic Meditation can enhance your feelings of joy and well-being? Visit https://thomknoles.com/ to learn more. / thethomknoles / thethomknoles Video Transcript: We deal with narcissists by learning from them how not to behave. Narcissism is very obviously a state of great insecurity. Someone who is so afraid of having a self critical thought. Why? Because they don't value themselves, they actually consider themselves to be worthless. And if they examine any other idea, for example, if they examine the idea that maybe they're wasting people's time, or they examine the idea that they may be in fact, the cause of their own experience, rather than blaming others, narcissists are famous for blaming others, "Yes this happened, but it's all your fault." Narcissists tend to apologize in the following way, "I'm really sorry, but it wouldn't have happened unless you'd done that." The conditional apology. There's that old joke about narcissists, "Enough about me, what do you think about me?" They're always wanting to curve the conversation back onto what they're experiencing, and how do we deal with all of that? Well, we need to see the underlying juvenile nature of such people. They're very juvenile, and obviously very unconscious. They are not aware of the straining effect that their egocentricity is having on everyone around them, and there's a reason for it. That is, if they ever consider somebody else's experience, and if they consider that they may have in fact been the cause of someone's misery, or indeed their own misery, they feel suicidal. And in a desperation to avoid potential self-destruction, they have to blame others and self-aggrandize, make themselves grand. And make sure that others always are at fault, others are to blame for their worst experiences. And that they have only themselves to credit for the best experiences that they've had. They have only themselves to credit for the best experiences that anyone around them has had, so anyone who is around them, has had a good experience because of them. Or they themselves have only had a good experience because of them and their qualities. This is a very, very dark fear of self-destruction. They've contemplated self-destruction many times, gone into that spiral, in that vortex, and the only way they can find out of it is to make themselves into a God or a Goddess that is blemish-free, and that all evident blemishes are the fault of others. And so when we see this, it may be curable, but don't try to cure it unless you're asked. Worthy inquiry is the basis on which we ever offer any kind of wise or trusted counsel. If there's no worthy inquiry, then we don't. And to the extent that there's worthy inquiry, that measured extent, then to that extent we do offer whatever it is that might be helpful to somebody. Narcissism is a deadly, psychological, human disease that requires a specialist therapist who's not going to be pulled into the vortex of the narcissist, who can actually help the narcissist. The problem is that most narcissists will never seek therapy because to do so is an admission of some fault. So it's a very sad state, actually, it's very sad. My advice as far as dealing with them is, that famous line, "The best defense is no be there." Unless you're absolutely required to, the very best lesson for them is to wonder about why they've isolated themselves. They need to ask those questions themselves. And so we need to be careful not to get in the path of a narcissist for too long. Also, don't base your own feelings or your own self-worth on anything you hear such a person say. It's best to be self-sufficient in your own self-assessment, it's best to form your own view about the value that you bring to the world. Don't get entangled in the web of egocentricity, the black hole of narcissism. And so what is the hope for them? When things get bad enough, hopefully they'll be able to break the spell of their narcissism for long enough that they'll be able to ask some self-critical questions and seek help. Other than that, there's nothing much we can do for them. We ourselves are grateful that we are not as badly tainted with that as some others might be. Narcissism is not a black and white state. You might have a little bit of it. You might have a lot of it. You might be absolutely an icon of narcissism. #ThomKnoles #VedicMeditation #VedicWorldView